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rowing up, you probably had no choice in what music boomed in the house on Saturday mornings. You had no choice on what radio station played in the car when your parents were driving. You may not have had a choice in the music, but you likely learned to accept it, enjoy it, and continue listening to some of those tunes as you grew up. As you grew up, you adopted your musical preferences as new music was released. At the same time, you likely have a playlist that combines the music you were raised to and the music you adopted as an adult.
Your thoughts every day are like your internal, personal playlist. This playlist is filled with a combination of thoughts that range from upbeat and happy to negative and depressing. Studies show that the brain can have up to 50,000 individual thoughts on a given day. That makes for an extremely long playlist. This playlist controls your moods and actions, so what’s playing should be what you want to hear.
The formal name of these negative thoughts is cognitive distortions. Simply put, they are irrational thoughts that can influence our emotions and subsequently influence our choices and actions in everyday life. Unfortunately for most people, negative thoughts can fill up this playlist and drive their lives into endless stress-filled days that can negatively impact their physical and mental health.
The reality is that we all have negative thoughts. It’s what allowed our long-forgotten ancestors to survive in the days before the advances in technology, conveniences, and innovations of today that we take for granted came to be. This is a part of our intuitive human nature that we must put effort into retraining. The bright side is that you have to realize YOU are in control of your internal playlist of thoughts.
For some, the negative thoughts that recur in our lives were passed down from our network of friends and family like a favorite song. For others, the negative thoughts can stem from the life experiences they have had. These thoughts create a narrative in our mind that, over time, can become what we perceive as reality. Do any of these sound familiar?
“I can’t travel to that country because I will get kidnapped.”
“I don’t know why they gave me this award; I didn’t even really do anything.”
“Nobody ever supports me!”
“I know she doesn’t like me; I can just feel it.”
“There are no good men anymore!”
“All women are gold diggers!”
“They won’t promote me at my job because they don’t like me!”
“I’m not smart enough to start a business.”
“He cheated on me because I gained weight.”
“I don’t trust anyone because everyone lies!”
“Every time I go out with my friends, something bad happens.”
These seem like simple statements, but if they are repeated over and over again in your brain, you can potentially start to believe them even when there is evidence that there are no facts to support them. Negative thinking comes from an emotional place that can cause us to ignore what is rational and true. Our emotions have significant power over our lives. They drive the decisions we make that impact our lives. Living in negative emotions consistently can affect our personal and professional relationships that can, in turn, affect our livelihood.
We must train our brains to take emotion out of many situations and replace them with rational thoughts. The beauty of this is that it is just like that playlist you created. You have control. Those negative thoughts are still in rotation, but you have the power to skip them as soon as they come on. Acknowledge the negative thoughts and identify where they are truly coming from. Take into consideration if you have enough of the facts to truly justify this negative thought. As you become familiar with the negative thoughts you tend to generate, you can learn how to deal with them appropriately. The more you work at this, the better you will get, and you will spend less time and energy on them. That spare time and energy can now shift to positive thoughts that will make you fill more fulfilled and complete.
Lastly, always be mindful that everyone deals with this. If you are actively working on correcting your negative thinking, surrounding yourself with negative thinking people will only set you back. Surround yourself with positive-thinking individuals who can encourage and help you on this journey. Remember. You are in control of your playlist!
Watch the Elevate in Life Podcast, where Sheila Little and Danielle McArthur discuss how to evaluate your lift from negative thoughts the emotional intelligence aspect of goal setting.
You were made for more than just surviving. You were made for Elevation. ⚖️
That's what Elevate Her Affirmation Challenge does... Elevates Your Game.
The Elevate Her Challenge isn't about competing with others, it's about finding freedom in your vulnerabilities and power in your conscious mind. 👑
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